We’re born into this world without a choice, nor option, I know that sounds depressing as hell, but it’s true. We don’t pick our family, and we don’t pick where we come from. As children we’re taught to dream big and follow those dreams to the end of the earth, or at least we should be. I’m extremely lucky that I have parents that think that way, and raised me to always be kind, caring and that the world doesn’t owe you anything, you have to work for everything you earn, and if you work hard enough, you’ll get enough back.
The way life works is the same for most. We learn to walk, talk, then get put into school, then college, and usually University after that, we don’t really get a choice in that matter. At age 3 we can’t say ‘no’ to school, at age 11 we can’t say ‘no’ to High school, and usually most don’t say ‘no’ to college or University because at 16-18 nobody really has a clue what they want too do for the rest of their lives, I mean, who can pick at that age what they want to do for the rest of their lives? No-one can usually.
This is the way my life worked out… School – College – Part time job – University then hopefully a full time career in something I enjoy, and I’m good at, and if that doesn’t work, I try something else. That’s the way things have always been planned in my head.
So when it all came to a halt this last year, I had zero idea what to do with myself.
Yeah, I was still part time at Uni, but how do I do nothing with myself when I’m not doing work? Ok, fair enough, I literally can’t do much with myself, especially when my legs choose to stop working some days, but how can one just sit around when their minds still so active yet their bodies not? Usually I’ll try and get out with friends every so many weeks when I can, and if I can’t, I’ll stay in bed watching TV doing assignments, and that’s my life for the foreseeable future.
I’ve always had a good work ethic, never missed an assignment at school/college, always got good grades, I was that girl in school. I always tried my hardest at my job, so when you have to stop and have to listen to your body, your minds still going even when your body can’t, and there’s nothing worse than an over-active mind when your body can’t keep up with it.
My friend said to me the other day ‘who knew we’d be like this… When we were like 6 and we wanted to be older to do adult things and go out. It’s funny how things can turn around‘, and it struck a nerve, because it’s so true.
We’re never prepared for the worst as children, why should we be? Nobody would expect it to happen, but it happens more than we think. We aren’t prepared that we could become disabled at a young age, we aren’t prepared if our world falls apart for any reason. A death of a family member, a friend, a change in the way our life works, none of us have any idea what to do when those things happen. So how do we get by when everything we’ve always known will never be the same again? You just have to say strong and deal with it. That’s all you can do. I wish I had a better answer, but I don’t.
All we can do it cope, and my friend, to dance in a thunderstorm whilst waiting for the sun to shine through the clouds again, to wake up every morning knowing those same battles haven’t changed and are still staring you in the face, but you still get up regardless, that is strength, that is courage and that is the most valuable thing you can learn in life.
The strongest of people usually go through something horrible in their life that takes them out of their normal routine they’ve always been used too. They learn how to cope when life switches itself round and realise they have to cope with it whether they like it or not. That’s true strength.
For anyone to tell you any less, they are naive, simple and damn right rude, and they would have zero idea what to do if they had to walk a mile in your shoes.
Be proud of who you are, be strong even when being strong seems impossible, thank those who are there to help, forget those who don’t even try to understand, and remember that everytime you look in the mirror you ARE a warrior, and one day the sun will shine for you, and when it does, you’ll feel those warm rays 100x stronger than someone who takes most things for granted, and to be able to feel so strongly, and to be able too enjoy the little things in life, that’s living.
To deal with hard times makes you appreciate the things that most people don’t.
Take time out of your normal routine, take time for yourself, you need it. Life will always be there waiting for you, and when you bounce back, everything will feel and taste so much sweeter knowing that you fought so hard just to get back on track.